It reminds me that everyone is not so different, that we all doubt our path in life, and we all wish that we could be ‘like someone else,’ assuming they have it easier and undermining our own strength and resourcefulness.
And most interesting thing about this phenomenon: We are embarrassed to share this self-doubt with the world and form the necessary support group we all want.
Why is there a social stigma against people who feel like they need some guidance in their life? We see the stigma reflected in societal embarrassment of self-help books, life coaches, psychics, and therapy. Maybe if we all confided in one another more often, like on a daily basis, to understand that what we are feeling is not abnormal then we could eradicate these stigmata.
People should be proud that their self-improvement and growth is so important to them that they feel the need to seek advice. The person who feels they know it all and wishes to ostracize themselves from other people may actually be ignoring a powerful truth: There is a sort of contagion in certainty, meaning that when others can reach a state of absolute certainty then we too can feel more certain that we have all the necessary resources, attributes, and skills to accomplish our life’s goals.
As social creatures, we naturally need each other for reassurance. So let’s start sharing our thoughts, concerns, and doubts without shame.
We all have these rare, fleeting moments. The ones where absolutely EVERYTHING around you looks beautiful and perfect the way it is. You send love to everything and everyone you pass. You stop in the mirror and, instead of critiquing your reflection, you simply look into your own eyes and profess gratitude that you are you. You are here. You valuable. And you are impossibly beautiful in every sense of the word.
Those moments feel like magic. When you are in them, it feels natural (“Why don’t I always feel this way? It’s so obvious my life is beautiful the way it is.”). Then later, when you allow your socialized pessimism to parasitically invade, you believe you were dumb to think that magic was real (“I was just delusional. It’s time to wake up”).
BUT, then something incredible happens: You experience another magic moment and you are convinced like before that perfection is all around you. The more you have those moments, the more centered in reality, not fantasy, they feel. The pessimism fades over time. A life of embracing these moments, I presume, is the kind of peace you find in many old people. The world is different for them because the lure of those magic moments have consumed them. Permanently.
This is what I like to call, Gravitational Gratitude. The moments have an intrinsically amble force that pulls you into the light and away from learned pessimism. They give you security. They remind you of your interconnectedness with the internal and external world because they ground you. You are your own planet and the Sun is the all that is around you. Its pull is magnetic and gives you life.
In these moments you are the impartial observer (you don’t see imperfections as connoting negativity because everything is neutral) and thank the world for being the way it is, in this moment, RIGHT NOW.
By changing the meaning of what’s around you, you realize that nothing is inherently flawed and all animate and inanimate life is intrinsically perfect. Your utopia exists in this moment. You are certain you could die happy.
A lesson I’m learning to be true, the secret to eternal happiness: It is impossible to be afraid, upset, or unsatisfied when you feel GRATITUDE for all that is, isn’t, and will be.
Try it yourself: Imagine a nuclear bomb is dropping to end your world and destroy all the people in your life. Now, in your minds eye, turn to those people and gaze at them in a lens of love. Feel how lucky you are to have spent your life with them, learned from their presence. Feel how safe they make you feel when you see them in this loving light. Thank them and everything around you that you value and feel the gratitude for having been given the chance to live even a moment of your life with these people, these things, and these experiences. Do you still feel afraid of your impending death? Most likely not.
Gratitude is love. Love is strength. Strength is certainty. And certainty invincibility.
Nothing can bring you down when you embody a state of gratitude. Truly nothing.
When you feel those next moments of utter gratitude for all the is, isn’t, and will be, let them consume you. Embody it so they are no longer rare, fleeting moments you let fade with time but a state of being in which you live your life.